By Belinda Amondi Arika, DevReporter, Nairobi County
Highlights
- Emotional testimonies
- Explanation on why friendships fade
- Policy grounding.
When Sarah Wairimu became a first-time mother, she expected sleepless nights, newborn cries, and an endless curve of caring for a tiny human. What she did not expect was how quiet her phone would become. Chats slowed, invitations faded, and the circle of friends she once leaned on, slowly thinned out.
“It was not that people stopped caring,” she says. “Life just moved on for them, while mine completely changed.”
Sarah’s story echoes that of many Kenyan mothers adjusting not only to diapers, clinic visits, and feeding schedules, but also to the quiet emotional shock of friendships drifting away.
Motherhood reshapes routines, priorities, and identities. For many new mothers, especially those navigating it for the first time, it also reshapes their social world.
Psychologists describe this as social Pruning, a natural shift in relationships as life transitions happen. For women like Sarah, it does not always feel natural, it feels lonely.
“Your world suddenly revolves around feeding times and doctor visits, while your friends talk about weekend plans and work trips,” she says. “You start to feel left out of your own life.”
For Dina, another young mother, the change was gradual. Friends promised to visit but rarely did. Group plans happened without her. Slowly, she learned to adjust to a quieter social rhythm.
“It hurts,” she admits, “but you learn to accept that motherhood sometimes comes with a social tax.”
Beneath this quiet heartbreak lies a conversation for broader public interest. Kenya’s Constitution — Article 53(1)(c) — guarantees every child the right to parental care and protection. That responsibility often rests heavily on mothers, emotionally and practically.
Vision 2030’s Social Pillar also places the wellbeing of families at the centre of national development. But wellbeing is not only about health facilities and services; it includes emotional ecosystems; the friendships, support systems, and human connections that help mothers cope, stay mentally healthy, and feel less isolated.
Experts warn that when these social bonds weaken, mothers are more vulnerable to stress, postpartum depression, and emotional exhaustion. Friendship loss quietly widens the social burden of motherhood.
Motherhood does not always “end friendships,” but it reshuffles them. Some fade, some pause, and some deepen. For many Kenyan mothers like Sarah and Dina, the hope is not necessarily to return to the old social life, but to be seen, understood, and not forgotten in the new one.
Beyond policies, motherhood is about the emotional spaces women live in. No man is an island so motherhood should never be walked alone.
